Obligatory New Years Post

So here it is. The end of 2008. It's a huge relief in a lot of respects, but a huge stress in a few others. I'm glad this year is over. It's been one of the worst/best/most hectic/most revealing years of my life. Thinking about myself at this time last year just makes me depressed. But it was a pivotal moment for me. A lot has changed this year. I feel more like myself, more independent, more guided, more sure of myself. I still feel insecure. Still feel a little bit needy. But I am not nearly as fucked up as I was at the end of 2007, so I suppose that's alright.

I feel a lot happier and more sure of myself than I have in years. So I guess that's something. That's quite a lot of something actually.

So resolutions? I guess I have to have one. It's usually the same every year. Get thin, stay thin, be healthy, be happy, whatever. I think I have a few goals that are a bit more attainable.

1. Join a gym and work out twice a week AT LEAST. Or just work out at school until I have money.

2. Budget my money so I have something to save.

3. Get a good internship over the summer.

I feel those are all attainable and reasonable so I won't be stuck with some vague thing like "LIKE MYSELF MORE" or whatever the fuck.

Anyways.

I have no idea what I'm doing tonight yet. All I really want to do is curl up with Cody and watch a movie and drink sparkling juice and be able to kiss him at midnight. It's been like 4 years since I've been able to be with the person I'm seeing and be able to kiss them at midnight. And yeah I know it's wicked cheesy, but I would really like to be able to do that. I'm tired of shitty New Years Eves. I'm tired of winding up sad or crying or angry at the end of the night because I get screwed over or ditched or my friends are sitting in a dark room doing blow with a bunch of strangers and I have to wait for them to be done. Cool. I would much rather just hide out and have a quite New Years at home with someone I care about.

See you later 2008. I hope 2009 is more legit.