Don't Blog.

Seriously. My blog is stupid. All I do is talk about how sad I am. How I can't make any decisions. Or how great my day was/life is. But what the fuck. Everything I write is so bi-polar it doesn't even goddamn make sense. So why do I even type in this space? I haven't even been decent at writing for years. I lost my savvy when I started college it seems like. I stopped reading as much, started doing other things, lost time, lost interest. What the fuck am I even interested in anymore? Reading blog entries of mine from when I was 19 up until now is like reading the journal of 10 different people.

I don't know what I want. I never do. I think I do, but I don't. I can never make up my mind. I want it all. I want none of it. I am probably insane. I feel too much. I think too much. I worry too much. I wish I could shut it off. I could logic it all away. Bury myself in tasks and work. Forget that I even have emotions.


Just forget it. Forget all of it. I don't want to care anymore. Being selfish is easier. Being self-reliant is easier. I'm a teenage girl. I fucking cry and whine and complain and that's all I'm good at. And THAT is depressing.