Ghost

Well something finally hit me. Or maybe I hit it.

I felt like garbage for two days. Slept most of both of them. Didn't bother calling anyone to hang out. Just hid in my apartment and ate applesauce. Funny thing was, nobody called me. No one asked me what I was doing. Nobody even sent me a text asking how I was feeling. I was completely alone.

I didn't really mind. But it made me really think. Am I really that alone? Who are my real friends? Do I even have any real friends?

I feel so alone and tired most of the days. But I feel okay about it most of the time. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. Maybe this time I really disappeared for good. Does that mean I'm ready to move? Maybe it's time to go. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the sign I needed that my comfort in this town is starting to expire.

I feel like a broken record. I'm just going to sit at work and eat a banana and hope that I can start to motivate myself soon. If I didn't have to work, I don't think I'd ever leave my apartment. Please let this medicine start to wear in soon. I'm too tired for anything.