What A Surprise; I'm Apathetic!

Things have remained overwhelmingly the same in the last few days.
I have a cold. I carved a pumpkin that looked like haunter from Pokemon yesterday, which was completely bad ass. My thumb nails are way too long. I still need a costume. It's whatever. That has totally become my catch phrase lately.

"Hey Jamie! How's school?"
"Oh I dunno...It's whatever."

Yeah. Apathy++. I'm just fucking tired of everything all the time.
I guess I'm probably moving in December, so I'll have my own place which will be badical. I dunno. Fuck it. That's all I can say lately. It's whatever, fuck it.

I just wish I could sit down and have a nice long conversation with someone and make everything better. Wishful thinking? Yeah probably. Fuck it.


I don't want Cat to leave.
I only wanna hang out with The Fish.

おいしい!

I feel it's important to note that Mike introduced me to an amazing restaurant in central Minneapolis.

It's called Midori's Floating World. It's a cute little Japanese cafe, with the best japanese food I have ever had (Besides of course what my host mother made me). They even had Takoyaki, which are little octopus dumplings that are probably the most delicious thing EVER. Mike and I were equally ecstatic about them.

The prices are reasonable. They're definitely not trying to overcharge. So if you like good food, you should probably google that shit and hit it up. I want to go there every day. Kitsune Soba and Takoyaki for every meal!!!!!!!

In other news, I made pumpkin cookies yesterday and they were awesome. Now I just don't know what to bake next!

I love the internet!

A bunch of kids were in Robot Love this morning from Thunder Bay. I got to talking to one of them about tattoos as he and his friend were commenting on my octopus and hello kitty. I mentioned my half sleeve idea, and he starts telling me about these pokemon tattoos his friend has. Turns out his friends ideas weren't so original. But bad ass none the less.

So here's what his friend has tattooed on her chest:



You can check out the rest of this guys flash here.

Fuck it.

I finally decided what I'm going to be for halloween. It's going to be pretty easy to pull off and will hopefully be hilarious. So high fives all around for that one.

I've been bowling twice this week already. Probably going for round 3 tonight. I think I may be getting slightly pathetic. Or maybe just slightly more awesome...?

Things are still lame. Most things. School is still kicking my ass. I still have very little free time (I'm just sitting at school taking a break from homework right now, and then I'll get to go to work. Woo hoo!). But Amanda was kind enough to pick up my shift this Saturday night, which means a little relaxin' time. Probably.

I'm hoping things change soon. If they don't, I might have to make some drastic decisions. I'm tired of so much right now. Tired of being stood up, being let down, being the only one that seems to care about so many things going on around me. Just exhausted with everything.

I'm anxious to get tattooed again. Seriously. I hope we start my half sleeve soon...

My Life in Bullet Points

- I voted yesterday! Absentee ballots for the win!
- Homework? All day every day!
- Cosmic bowling. Bestbest.
- Baking is pretty much the only thing that makes me really happy anymore.
- Miss Cody.
- Miss my parents.
- Hating on everything.
- Cat is probably the only friend that makes plans with me anymore.
- I still don't know what I want to be for halloween.


How cool does that sound?

It's happening.

It's that time of year again where I find my concentration skills waning. Seasonal depression kicks in, I lay in bed for far too long, my motivation doesn't exist and I start falling behind in school.

THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN RIGHT NOW.

I need to hide this week. I need to work. I can't play. I'm sorry.

Today I have a lot to accomplish.

2-3 assignments for marketing, 2-3 assignments for Vis studio, Meeting and work on our midterm review for Bio sys, AND...God I don't even know what else for digital marketing. Thank fuck I have no homework in project tracking this week or I would for sure be shooting myself for taking the weekend off.

I hate myself sometimes.

Don't Take It Personally...

I'm sort of a tough broad.
Or at least that's what I'm told.

I'm pretty laid back, I don't care about much, I don't get into peoples drama for any other reason but to laugh at it, and for the most part, I keep to myself. I don't cry a lot. I don't mind if people don't like me (I figure it's usually with good reason OR I probably don't want to be their friend anyways if there is no reason). I don't usually get my feelings hurt (if you have an insult for me, I've probably heard it from 1000 other people. I get it. I suck).

But there are some times, and some people, that just really get under my skin. Things that scathe worse than any thing else.

I'm gonna get a little personal here.
You probably shouldn't read this.


I was basically told to leave last night. I understood, because he had homework and was crabby and what not. However. It was the way that it happened.

I waited all day to see him for 10 minutes. He didn't kiss me when I came in. He barely looked at me the whole time. Then said I wouldn't see him until probably Tuesday and said I should probably go. Then he begrudgingly got up to hug me goodbye only after I asked.

So yeah. I got in my car and I cried. I bawled. It really hurt. I felt like I was absolutely being dismissed.

So now I don't really know how to feel. It hurt a lot. And I don't know if it was just because he was upset and stressed or whatever. It hurt. And I need to vent about it.

I mean... seriously? What do I do wrong? That's how I feel right now. It was searing. Honestly. I barely see him anymore because we're both so busy and when I do see him for a brief moment that's how I get treated?

So what does this mean? Is that it? See you later?

My heart is in my stomach today. I just don't feel right.

Things I Will Never Understand

1. Suzie Q's teaching style.
2. Why pumpkin pie, made of something so yucky, is so damn delicious.
3. Why people giving powerpoint presentations often times just read off the slides. They're your visual, not your notes. Cut it out goddammit!
4. Why I'm better at ideas than implementation. I guess I really am an ENFP...
5. Marketing.
6. Bars and people that frequent them.
7. Why everyone thinks I'm much younger than I am initially. I don't know if this is good or bad.
8. How someone so different from me can be one of my favorite people in the world.
9. Wisconsinites. Oh my god. I think I just hate the way they talk.
10. Why when you tell people you don't do something (i.e. eat meat) they immediately shove that thing/action in your face (i.e. LOOK AT THIS STEAK SANDWICH YUM MMMM MEAT YOU WANT SOME I KNOW YOU DO!).

I had an informational interview at Fast Horse Inc. today. I'm pretty sure that's the sort of place I want to work when I grow up. I met with a guy named Taylor, and he was awesome, and he really soothed my worries about jobs/internships. He was great, laid back, funny and an all around cool guy. I feel much better now.

Things are weird lately. I'm moving again in December into a one bedroom hopefully. We'll see. I need some stability. Or do I?

Schedules.

I picked up a shift at Robot Love today in order to get last Saturday morning off. Let me just say, I am definitely a slave to my schedule. I didn't really realize it until a switch in my schedule happened. It seriously threw me off so hard. I had planned to do homework and make cupcakes and watch Project Runway today. I need days like that. I need to unwind! Srsly.

Point being that I'm 21. I'm spontaneous. I adjust well. And yet, when my Sundays get fucked with, I'm not a happy lady. Any other day of the week, throw anything at me, I'll adapt, I'll do it, hell I'll do it with a smile on my face even. But mess with my Sundays, my homework day, my relaxing day, my one day that I'm not busy for 8 hours or more during my waking hours, and I'm a cranky little shit.

The good thing is that I think Kristoffer knows that about me, because he offered to swing in around 3 so I could take a break and eat some lunch and take a breather. What a sweetie. I've been discovering lately that he and I are much more similar than I had initially thought. We have similar neurosis, similar extraverted/introverted tendencies, similar ways of dealing with work and stress. It's a good thing I think.

Anyways.. Schedules. I die without mine. Period. Guys?

Crazy Cat Lady.

I always sing songs to my cat replacing certain words with her name. I do that to Cody's cat too. And I did it to Bill's cats when we lived together. Why am I so weird? Am I really that weird?

Things I Will Never Understand

1. My ex-boyfriends. All of them.
2. Why people from LA always fucking talk about being from LA. NO ONE CARES.
3. Why anyone is attracted to me.
4. Why every time I go to my bank, someone, lady or gentleman, tells me I'm hot/a supermodel/gorgeous/etc...
5. Why they can't make an easier way to pluck your eyebrows.
6. Money and economics.
7. Why anyone would ever assume I am an art student.
8. Rush hour traffic jams. It's like... you get in your car, and use the accelerator to go forward. How hard is that? Honestly.
9. My inherent feeling of responsibility for everything.
10. Why any of my Biological Systems teachers are still employed at MCAD.


That's it for this week... trust me, I have a billion more.

Public Service Announcement

Childhood obesity is a real problem, guys.

Wow.

How do you compose a letter thanking someone for the impact they've had on your life?

And how do you do that when they're about to die?

What can I even say?

Wow.

You don't have to go to college.

I've been up since 6:45am.
I talked to Jerry about studying abroad in Toronto next fall and focusing on fashion communications.
I talked to Christine about getting an internship and getting my resume and cover letter in order.
I'm really doing it. I'm making everything go. I'm doing it. Me.
I'm proud of me. You should be too. I'm not one to take the reins.

Speaking of which, I'm the project manager for my Vis Studio class. And my entire group congratulated me on being an awesome leader yesterday. You have no idea how good that feels. I feel like I'm succeeding where I want to succeed. YES.

I'm having tea with Niki at 6:30. I'm exhilarated. Nervous. Scared. Excited. All of the above.
I hope it goes well. It will go well.

Maxwel and Bill are here. Maxwel is getting tattooed. Bill is telling me to blog about him. I miss Bill. I wish we still lived together. He's the goddamn best.

Cody just told me he wants to go to Grad school in Houston probably.
Would I move to Texas?


Yes.

Dance Band

In my marketing class, we're doing a project where we make a new marketing plan for a local band. We picked Dance Band. Then Nick found their official youtube postings. I am in love.

Madness.

I saw some of my old traits coming out this weekend at Black and White ball. I did not like that. I immediately got them in check, and I feel back to normal now.

Niki and I spent some time together on friday. It made me really happy. It also made me realize how much both of us had changed, and yet how similar we both still were. This was comforting.

Cody and I had a very long talk on Saturday night about some things. It was so refreshing to sit down and have a logical talk about how we were both feeling. Neither one of us interrupted the other, we heard each other out, we stated our grievances, talked it out, and ended up happier because of it. I understand him much better now, and I think he understands me better too. This is by far the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. It feels really good.

Danny and I had a talk on Saturday also. I was big on talking this weekend I suppose. This talk was much harder to swallow and a lot more uncomfortable. I just hope everything will work itself out.

Sunday I did all of my laundry. Sat around. I beat 3 Sudoku challenges in an hour and a half. I felt really awesome about this for some reason.

Now it is monday. I have homework. I'm cleaning. Spending time with The Fish. I hate when I'm gone all weekend and I don't get t cuddle her. She is getting so big!

Wednesday I meet with Jerry Allan at 8:30am to discuss studying at Ryerson for a semester. This might be exactly what I need.

This week, I need shelves. I need to start exercising. I need to clean the entire house. I need to grocery shop. I need to only cook at home and not eat out. I need to not drink. I really really need to update my budget and pay my electric bill. Baby steps.

Fairy Godmother Plz?

The dress I had planned on wearing to the Black and White Artist's Ball this year, surprise, doesn't fit over my gigantic ribcage. Honestly. My ribs are bigger than my waist. I don't know what to do now. I have like...tonight to go shopping and that is absolutely it. FUXXXXXXX.

I'm just going to have to raid the mall on fucking super speed. I don't even know where to start looking. GAH. I hate being crunched for time I H8 it even.

PLUS I don't even have shoes! I am going to drive Cat and Danny crazy tonight when we go shopping.

FRICKFRICKFRICKFRICK.

I'm going to end up just buying a dress from American Appy and sluttin' it up, I just know it.

Also, Chris, I hope you got YSL black lip gloss.