Rain.

Rainy days are good thinking days.

I've had too many long empty days lately. Too many laying in bed all day in and out of sleep because I'm so sick I feel like I could check out at any minute days.

I realized I don't really have a lot to say lately. Not anything important anyways.

I sometimes wish I could mediate. I mean sure I CAN, but effectively. Instead of wasting my down time emptying my mind, I wish I could be learning to open it. There is so much still that I have yet to discover within me. It's frustrating that what is outside takes over.

I'm ready to get away. I'm ready for a new adventure in Boston. I'm ready for the familiar arms of my best friend.

I will do anything to be able to take Japanese this summer and study abroad at Temple next year. ANYTHING. That is all I need. That is the change that I need. It's a part of me and I need to be free again. I'm so tired of being restless. I'd love to yearn for this place again, but all I feel is the inability to leave holding me down. It's going to take a lot for me to say "I wish I were in Minneapolis." Probably a month away at least. We'll see how this little excursion into the unknown goes next week.

I envy all of my friends that don't have to work and can just focus on school. No one knows how badly I wish that could be me.