Tired eyes

I just drank a travel mug full of french press and my eyes are heavy and my head feels light. I've only been sick for a week and it already feels like an eternity. All I want to do is go back to sleep.

I would really like to snap out of my funk and become a fully functioning human being again. I feel like I've been a zombie at work and school and I'm not really doing a good enough job of things. I feel like I've been extra flakey and letting my friends down. I'm just so tired. I'm so so tired.

It was my Grandma Marlus' birthday yesterday. My brother and I went and visited her grave. It was strange. I still remember what she smells like. I still remember how she used to laugh. And call me skinny minnie. And baby girl. And hug me so tight whenever I came home to visit. And the way she would get so frustrated about everything and point her finger at you.
I remember holding her hand and telling her "I'm not worried Grandma. You're a fighter." That was the last time I got to see her.

It really doesn't seem like it's been almost 3 years. I miss her so much still. I feel like next time I go home she'll just be there with cookies and kisses and everything will be okay. I wish. I wish so hard.

Ugh. I want to be back in my bed with my kitten plz.