I'm sitting in front of Starbucks on Washington in my car lurking Wi-Fi, waiting for Mike to get out of class. I already had coffee today, so I didn't really feel like paying for something else.
I feel incredibly empty today. I'm trying to smile and laugh but it all seems so forced. I don't know what I'm doing. I just feel like I'm drifting and responding to things the way I'm conditioned to. Everything is absolutely so contrived. I am blank.
I walked by the tea place twice, not on purpose. The first time I managed not to look in. The second time Luke was pointing something out and I saw him. I instantly felt a wave of crushing, sickening sadness. Everything feels wrong. I have no idea.
I'm going to Natalie's soon to make sushi. I'm really glad that she is my friend. I just hope I can be a little bit fun to hang out with.
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